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If you’re in a business relationship with anyone - a client, vendor, or customer - how important is that relationship to you? Do you value the relationship? Do you want to nurture it?

A business relationship, like any relationship, is a two-way street. The expectations of both parties needs be clear and easily understandable. Applying the Golden Rule is also a good idea: “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” That is a very powerful statement, and one I try to practice in my daily life, both in business and personal matters.

Good communication is key for any business relationship to grow and thrive. Even when conflicts surface (and they will), keeping the lines of communication open at all times is extremely important. Meet conflicts head-on, no matter how frightening they may seem at the time. The sooner the issues are out on the table and dealt with, the sooner you can get back on track and back to business-as-usual.

Another thing to keep in mind is letting people know you appreciate them. Thank you notes, cards and e-mails are always a good idea, and they never go out of style. People love to be appreciated. If you are receiving great business from someone, always be sure to let them know. You will feel better for it, and so will they.

Another great idea is to reach out and “touch” your clients and customers on a regular basis by sending them monthly newsletters. This is a wonderful way to keep in touch, both to let them know you are thinking about them, and to remind them about you as well.

Remember, you get out of a great relationship what you put into it. Value those you do business with. Nurture the relationships, so they are always growing and prospering. Keep this up and you will always have a garden full of healthy, happy business contacts.

© 2005 Cynthia Morse, Virtually At Your Service. All rights reserved.

You’re welcome to reprint this story. If you do, please include this reference: Cynthia Morse CAP is a Virtual Assistant, and the owner of Virtually At Your Service, http://www.virtuallyatyourservice.biz.
She offers remote administrative support to small business owners and other busy professionals from her home office, allowing them the time to focus on what they love and do best. Sign up at http://www.virtuallyatyourservice.biz to receive her e-zine “Virtual Service Connection” for monthly tips and resources benefiting small business owners.

Counted among the biggest of the American third party firms working in club membership programs is a business called Trilegiant. Trilegiant and its CEO Nathaniel Lipman partner with many service brands including famous dental, shopping, health, entertainment, and similar businesses to benefit the consumer’s retail experience.

Trilegiant is not new, we should point out. Having over three decades of development across an expanding area (now encompassing an even half dozen states) and 3000 members of staff, the Connecticut company has nothing left to prove. More than twenty five million members all over America employ Trilegiant’s schemes at the time of writing.

Lipman’s desire is to provide risk-free solutions, enabling consumers to ensure value, make economies, all without buying becoming troublesome. Examining one example, the Buyers Advantage initiative offers a way to obtain reasonably priced insurance on long term warranty, return guarantees, and the cost of repairs, cementing their confidence as regards their purchase. Trilegiant also, of course, offer other programs including HealthSaver — which offers reasonably priced healthcare with no drop in quality — to look at a single example.

You might find that it’s when the firm turns its attention to the home populace that Trilegiant and Lipman’s dream shows its true colours. Single events organized within the firm by even small scale factions of colleagues can raise donations of tens of thousands of dollars in a mere five days — the product of a dedication one can admire. The company also sets out to help through research. As you may know, year to year public businesses and the government of the U.S.A. collect an astonishing profusion of statistical information. Trilegiant studies these statistics with diligence to identify the essentials and then considers ways of improving them. For example, the total number of automobile collisions in America every year is about six and a half million.

To prevent motor users from becoming part of these figures, a car discount club called Autovantage began releasing its annual “road rage” factsheets two years ago. To improve your safety, the collated information these factsheets contain are calculated to make you aware of danger signs while there’s time to do something about it. So there it is; Trilegiant, a perfect exemplar of a company who realizes how essential the health of its community truly is. They merge dedication to charitable causes and their efforts to inform the general public with their services designed to improve subscribers’ retail experiences. To summarize, they are a near perfect community oriented business.

Have you ever participated in an online forum debate and found yourself in the midst of name-calling and really bad behavior, yet wanted to get back on the subject, but could not seem to get anyone from fighting? Indeed this is not an easy thing to do at all but here is how you do it.

First you deny any label anyone has called you. Then you make everyone feel sorry for calling you whatever names or things they called you, last you tell them you are so angry that you are now switching sides from your former neutral position and let them know now you are going to be vigilant in fighting against their cause from here on out. Here is an excerpt of how it works and this is taken from a forum debate on gay marriages of all things. But it was indeed good practice;

“I am not a Buddhist, so “Scotty7″ your categorization of what “I am” is yet another mirror of what you think I think you are. Therefore from here on out, I am now the voice of the opposition until the gay and lesbian community admits that their gay fringe, is abusive, slanderous, vindictive and often usurps the law violating other peoples rights and then demanding their own. All the while disrespecting everyone in the process and calling anyone who mirrors such disrespect in reciprocation a NAZI, homophobic, a liar, ignorant, psychotic or some other mean spirited comment. Now, I will be your mirror. How do you like me now? You have called me names and attack when I was neutral and understanding

And in doing so you can see exactly the problems the gay fringe causes when they attack and you can see why the gay fringe needs to be mentored into a better mental space if the gay and lesbian community is ever to attain the goal of marriage. This hurts me to do this more than it is hurting you. Indeed hard Lessons are often like that.”

Next you sit back and wait for all the apologies to come in and you have used EI or Emotional Intelligence to put yourself back on top and negated all the previous posts in the debate. Now you control the situation and can lead the debate to a place and time of your choosing. It works every time. Consider this in 2006.

“Lance Winslow” - Online Think Tank forum board. If you have innovative thoughts and unique perspectives, come think with Lance; http://www.WorldThinkTank.net/wttbbs/

Why Do People Start Writing Discussion Lists?

Angela Gillaspie, who owns Southern Angel, says she created her list for a very simple reason. “I started the list because there were so many folks that wanted to read my writing, and I had a hard time remembering everyone’s addresses.”

Gillaspie’s list, which is a newsletter-type list where only she can post messages, was officially launched on March 24 and currently has 40 subscribers, most of whom joined after receiving an invitation from her. “I hope this list would make my subscribers smile and *think*,” she says. “I’m not trying to make money, I just want others to enjoy life. Making some one laugh is almost a religious experience, in my opinion!” The main thing that Gillaspie gets from the experience of being a list owner is “very useful feedback,” she says. “My list is currently humor-oriented.

Recently, on a whim, I sent out an inspirational story and immediately lost one subscriber. She claimed my stories were too long. Indeed that particular article was 1200 words, but the story right before that was a mere 320 words….so I really wonder if her true reason for leaving was because I used the word “Jesus” in my article. This prompted me to conduct a poll to see if my readers want inspiration *and* humor. So far, the majority wants both — but, I may create a separate list for the inspirational-type stories.” Gillaspie, who is a work-at-home programmer/analyst, freelance writer, and “proud Southern Momma,” created her list with the hope that her “readers will get a “lift to their day, a grin, and maybe even a big belly laugh knowing that there is a strange woman living in Alabama that experiences the same spilt milk, bad hair cuts, worms in the fridge, and missing toilet paper that they do.”

“I started The-Ethereal-Pen as a way to build a bit of community in the sci-fi/fantasy world that women seem to be over-looked in,” says Victoria, who runs a few group lists online. “I, myself, am a writer, and I know that exposure for stories is sometimes very hard to get. I set this group up as a way for female writers to get opinions and ideas about their on-going works, as well as possiblly getting editors and publishers to come and post a little bit about submission requirements and how to present their works to publishers.”

Victoria also owns Where-Is-Love, which she created “because, well, it was a rant. I got tired of seeing women being objects for sexual abuse and torture,” Victoria says. “I found it hard to believe that these sexual fantasies were considered all there was in the world of Erotica, and so, I created Where-Is-Love as a means for women to express passion, love and sex, in a very positive light with no vicutums and no violence. They are free to post stories, poems, ideas thoughts or whatever is on their mind, whether on-topic or not. The basic idea was to get over the modesty and down to the real heart of love.”

“Then, I decided to make it a e-group as well, to further the feeling of community among the web-sites,” she added. She says she gets a lot out of her experience as a list owner. “I know this sounds hokey, but I really do get alot of satisfaction that I’ve brought people together in a “safe” environment to share ideas and thoughts on the subject matters regarding the list, or not, depending on the case. I think one of the best things we get from e-groups is friends,” Victoria says. “I would like the members of each group to get what they put into it. Participation is what makes a group strong and happy. Sure lists can get petty and mean, but I think as long as you can start off with a general understanding that we are all here to grow and learn from each other, it’s a bit easier to listen to what other people have to say.”

“I wanted to find a serious list where working novelists would discuss the art and craft of writing fiction. I couldn’t find one,” says Melisse, MJ Rose, who runs The Novelists. “I belong to many lists and wanted one that was not chatty - though I have nothing against chatty - so I created the list I wanted.”

Rose started her list a year ago and currently she has about 100 subscribers. What she gets from the experience is simple - “Great dialog between serious writers about the craft of writing,” she says. “The biggest problem - since its not chatty - unless we are in the midst of dicussing a topic - the list gets slow.”

You will find more information about discussion lists on the following website -http://www.bellaonline.com/articles/art16926.asp

© Danielle Hollister (2004) is the Publisher of the Free Ezine for Writers featuring news, reviews, and continuously updated links to the best resources for writers online like - freelancing & jobs, markets & publishers, literary agents, classes & contests, and more… Read it online at - http://www.bellaonline.com/articles/art157.asp

Trilegiant is one of the best known third party service providers in North America managing and offering club and loyalty programs. Trilegiant and Nathaniel Lipman, its President and CEO, network with many retail names including famous retail, dental, entertainment, health, and protection services to benefit their members’ retail experience. These names couldn’t be called new to the industry. Founded in 1973, Trilegiant hails from Norwalk, Connecticut and now operates eight offices through half a dozen states with a three thousand strong staff on hand to solve your problems. This organization permits them to support more than twenty-five million members all over the United States of America. The business is known for creating risk free solutions that make it easy for customers to make savings, get hold of valuable services, and make your shopping smoother. As an example, cheaper protection for extended warranty, guaranteed returns, and the cost of repairs which can be bought via Buyers Advantage. Additional services like HealthSaver provide quality healthcare on a decent budget, and that only mentions two of the excellent schemes that the company promises.

Supporting the entire society is a desire of Nathaniel Lipman and his staff. Projects they’ve overseen include the program in 2005 in which a group of forty company employees got together to earn more than $30,000 in donations for the Make-A-Wish Foundation. And believe it or not, it took them only five days to do!

Another way they try to help is using research analysis. As you’re aware, year to year privately owned businesses in association with the government of the United States gather a significant profusion of important data. Trilegiant scrutinizes these statistics with diligence to be sure of major problems and then debates ways of improving them. For example, the total number of car collisions in the U.S.A. every year is over six million. No one intends for their own motorcycle to play a part in these figures, especially the nastier accidents, and for the past three years Autovantage car club members have been sent copies of the business’s annual road rage data. Within these you’ll find summaries of relevant information and various tips to increase your awareness.

And so there you have it; Trilegiant, a great exemplar of a firm which takes into account how fundamental the state of its customers truly is. Their range of initiatives enhance the retail experience for the general public, and their dedication to the community’s causes and the drive to inform the population about essential issues shows that Trilegiant’s heart is in the right place. They’re precisely what you would dream of from a community service-oriented company.

Initially, when Henry Kravis and George Roberts set up Kohlberg, Kravis, Roberts & Co (KKR) in the mid seventies with some assistance from the First Chicago Corporation, their specialty was in leveraged buyouts. But they have assembled a unique proposal which centers not solely on optimized profit margins, but likewise on how ecologically aware each of their companies are.

Environmentally aware business procedures became major topic of dicussion last year when Kohlberg, Kravis, Roberts & Co’s Henry Kravis and the New York based Environmental Defense Fund (EDF) joined forces. Large matters like resource depletion and extreme water consumption are a priority in their company mission statement.

Be sure you surf to this #1 website for Henry Kravis advice.

Eco-efficiency (the term was first introduced by the WBCSD) informs the framework for their mission, through applying environmentally friendly techniques such as increasing the durability of products, recycling programs and fuel economy. The program was successful, but the businesses who were involved didn’t even understand the range of the benefits of the project until the executive in charge of the Green Portfolio Project, Ken Mehlman, reviewed the project when it had been functioning for a year.

Much to everyone’s surprise, Ken learned that the project not only increased environmental awareness, but also increased the profits from all their companies as well. Just about all of the businesses affiliated to KKR and Ken Mehlman nowadays are involved in the program. Seeing that the portfolio is valued at nearly one hundred billion dollars, you may be certain this wasn’t a simple feat.

Kohlberg, Kravis, Roberts & Co with the Environmental Defense Fund with the assistance of Ken Mehlman are extending the Green Portfolio project. The Climate Corps Program administrated by the EDF is just one of these ventures, it advances eco-efficient principles to MBA interns. In addition, Ken Mehlman has been in close collaboration with Kohlberg, Kravis, Roberts & Co to formulate a series of analytic tools and other applicable products which businesses can utilize to measure resources. This type of information is significant as companies can assess each of their daily procedures and find out precisely how they can solve any problems while simultaneously seeing their progress. Henry Kravis, the KKR, and the Environmental Defense Fund are trailblazers in the business community. These fresh ideas have set a benchmark for companies in every sector and illustrated that making profits need not entail the hefty price of damaging the environment.

This is Stephen A. Schwarzman’s story. In 2008 Steve Schwarzman was number fifty three on Forbes’ list of the most wealthy individuals in the US, even so it’s his incredible achievements in the business and finance world and his contributions to the arts that make this account different. All this illustrate that the keys to succeeding in business are devoted working hard plus unequivocal commitment. Stephen A. Schwarzman and his partner Peter Peterson founded the private equity and financial advisory firm Blackstone Group in 1985. And as everyone knows, the Blackstone Group is now one of the most profitable mergers and acquistions companies in the US. Spending many of his early years in near Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, Steve commenced his schooling in the Philadelphia suburbs. Then he went on to acquire his degree from Yale University in 1969. He took on an MBA at the prestigious Harvard Business school near Boston, MA. Then he joined with Lehman Brothers investment bank, situated in New York, NY. Steve was appointed a managing director at the very precocious age of thirty-one. Steve Schwarzman volunteered his services as an adjunct professor at the respected Yale School of Management and also donates to a number of charities, educational programs, and the arts. He serves as the Chairman of the Board of Trustees of the JFK Center for the Performing Arts in New York, New York. Furthermore, he proclaimed with pride on March 11, 2008 that he had presented 100,000,000 dollars to the New York Public Library to help them enlarge. Steve also serves them as a trustee. It’s not surprising that Steve Schwarzman is accepted as one of the United States’ elite — he was cited amongst Time Magazine’s 100 Most Influential People in the World in recognition of his numerous accomplishments and influence on the business world generally. His rise in the business and financial communities has been amazing, not to mention the fact that his support of music and the arts has been an inspiration to the business world in general.

Considering all his knowledge and commitment, it appears as if there is nothing he cannot achieve. Stephen A. Schwarzman is without a doubt a captivating businessman who has left his mark on the United States of America and its business community.

You will most probably have seen mention of Mr. Naveen Jain the co-founder and CEO of Intelius, Inc. a market leaders in background checks, identity theft protection and public records services. In addition to having made the Forbes list “400 Richest in America” in 2000, this prosperous entrepreneur has been honored with a variety of notable awards including the WSA Industry Achievement Award, the Albert Einstein Technology Medal, and the Ernst & Young Entrepreneur of the Year Award. Even so things definitely expand out from there. For Jain and his relations are likewise as passionate about philanthropy and will try to assist others as often as they can.

Kids are certainly mankind’s most precious resource. Naveen Jain also regards children as being at the very focus of his enterprises and he tries to make the best of every opportunity he sees to assist them. This is the chief reason why he is so untiringly taking advantage of every opportunity available to help needy young people, whenever it is viable. In consequence, Naveen Jain, his family and the employees at Intelius have committed to actually follow up in earnest: they donate good-sized amounts of time and effort to charitable institutions such as Hopelink, TreeHouse, and Child Rights and You (CRY). As you would expect, they will assign plenty of pecuniary support, but even more importantly, they commit lots of time and attention to the kids who need it the most. Moreover, Naveen Jain helps sponsor the Children’s Hospital, dedicated to enhancing children’s health, as well.

Seeing that Jain is a graduate of XLRI Jamshedpur and the Indian Institute of Technology, it’s no surprise that schooling enjoys a tremendously significant status in his humanitarian worldview. This embraces campaigns and charitable foundations local, state, and nationwide. Thus, Intelius and its head are actively funding voluntary bodies and organizations such as the Children’s Hospital, the Bellevue Boys and Girls Club and the Vedic Cultural Center. Feeding the world’s destitute is an additional crucial objective to Jain and his relatives and to him, it makes not a jot of difference. Although Naveen Jain is conscious that the undertaking of getting provisions for all the world’s famished is a phenomenal one, he also understands that the impossible can really turn out to be feasible if everybody works in concert. If this business leader obtains his objectives, there will be a definite ending to destitution and malnourishment on this planet at some point.

You would believe that functioning as the man in operative command of a very thriving market leading business and a committed husband and parent to boot would provide him with no free time for donating and support. However Naveen Jain takes care to ensure that each of his benevolent ventures will get all the support he can realistically come up with. This industrious man is undeniably a lot more than any obsessed albeit most successful trailblazer of industry. He is (even more importantly) also an exceptional personality and an authentic community hero.

Most very successful entrepreneurs are contributing their vast expert knowledge to philanthropical work nowadays. You are bound to have heard mention of Mr. Naveen Jain’s name as being the CEO & co-founder of Intelius, Inc. the leading company offering background checks and public records services. On top of gaining his ranking on the Forbes list “400 Richest in America” in 2000, this prosperous entrepreneur has been honored with an assortment of notable awards, most notably the Albert Einstein Technology Medal, the WSA Industry Achievement Award, and the Ernst & Young Entrepreneur of the Year Award. But it certainly does not finish off here. For Jain and his family are every bit as zealous about their benevolent endeavors and will attempt to give aid whenever possible.

Kids are genuinely our most important resource. They are also a central focus of attention for this enterprising man, and he takes every occasion available to support them. This, too, is why he is so meticulously leveraging every opening he can to support them if it is even remotely workable. Consequently, Naveen Jain, his relatives and the staff at Intelius dedicate their time and efforts to philanthropical entities as, for example, Hopelink, United Way, and the Bellevue Boys and Girls Club. Expectably, they provide plenty of material assistance but more importantly, they dedicate their time and effort to the most needy and at risk children. Beyond this, he gives aid to the Children’s Hospital, being dedicated to enhancing children’s health too.

With Naveen Jain being a graduate of the Indian Institute of Technology and XLRI Jamshedpur, it is no surprise that formal training has been assigned an exceedingly high status within his philanthropic endeavors. This also encompasses campaigns and voluntary organizations that cover the spectrum from the local to the international. Therefore, Intelius and its CEO are aiding voluntary organizations and philanthropic foundations like the Indian American Education Foundation, Child Rights and You (CRY) and the Vedic Cultural Center. Getting sustenance to the impoverished of the world is another fundamental aim for Jain and those around him and to him, it makes not one iota of difference. While Naveen is highly conscious that the goal of feeding every starving mouth in the world can seem like an impossible task, he is also aware that the unachievable can indeed be achieved when every person applies themselves towards a common end. If this business leader should actually have his way, there will be a unquestionable cessation to destitution and hunger all over the world one day.

One might think that being the man in charge of a highly thriving company on top of being a committed husband and father would provide him no time for volunteering and support. Regardless Naveen Jain takes care to ensure that all of his charitable endeavors may rely on all the support he can realistically muster. Indeed, this doggedly idealistic businessman is surely way more than just a business leader. He is, even more importantly, an absolutely extraordinary person and a real community hero.

In Part 1, we looked at ways to mirror and match the actions of other people. This time, we will examine sense modalities and show how you can use them to create Instant Rapport.

Most of us are blessed with five senses, which we use to receive information from the world around us. Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP), among other things, studies the relationship between language and brain function.

NLP has determined that some people are primarily visually oriented (V). Others are more auditory (A). And some are more in touch with their physical feelings and emotions, or what is termed kinesthetic (K). From this, we get the term VAK.

USING VAK

You can tell which sensory mode someone prefers to use by listening the words they say.

Visuals think in pictures and the language they use reflects that. They might say, “I see what you mean,”" I get the picture” or “That looks good to me.” In a sales presentation, a Visual prospect might say,” Show me what you’ve got.”

An Auditory might say, “That sounds good,” “I hear what you’re saying” or “That rings true.” During a staff meeting, an Auditory might say,” “Let me hear your idea.”

A Kinesthetic will “Want to get a handle on something,” “Try it on for size” or “Have a gut feeling.” If your are making a proposal to a Kinesthetic, he or she might say, “Lay it on me.”

The key then, to creating Instant Rapport with each of these types is to use language that they can understand and relate to. To do otherwise would be like going to Germany and refusing to speak German, even though you know the language.

If you say to an Auditory, “Do you see what I mean?” they won’t. But if you ask, “Do you hear what I’m saying?” they probably will. Not only that, they’re more likely to agree with you because you are speaking their language.

And when you speak their language, you create rapport.

VAK IN BUSINESS AND SALES.

In a sales situation, or any other time that you are trying to convince someone to do something, present your pitch or idea in a way that is most compatible with the way someone’s brain works.

Visual people want to see pictures of the product or, if possible, the product itself. They find graphs and charts more convincing than the words you say.

An Auditory will prefer to hear what you have to say and will note how you say it. Do you speak with an air of confidence and authority, or does your voice betray uncertainty, fear or deception?

A Kinesthetic will want to touch the product or hold the brochure or chart. Let them do this. If you need to point out something on the product or brochure, don’t take it away from them. Have a second one for yourself.

When using VAK, keep in mind that almost nobody uses any one sense modality to the exclusion of others. There is usually a mix. Also, the primary modality may change, depending on the situation. So always listen for the verbal cues to determine which sensory mode is dominant at the moment and adjust your language accordingly.

Even so, there is usually one sense in particular that someone prefers to the others. Once you discover what it is, and use that knowledge wisely, you have one more key to Instant Rapport.

And once you have rapport, getting what you want becomes that much easier.

Adapted from the new book “Power Persuasion:” Using Hypnotic Influence to Win in Life, Love and Business,” by David R. Barron and Danek S. Kaus

Copyright 2005 Danek Kaus